Are we dating or just friends with benefits
Do you realize that means you’re better off than you were before you entered the relationship? You’re now standing at a point higher than you were at before the relationship (and either higher or lower than when you were in the relationship depending on how you look at it). Now, if a relationship happens to come along which will make you happier – Okee dokie! A lot of pain comes as a result of not knowing yourself and what you want.
Just stop thinking about it and start doing the things you love. You’ll never get into a relationship again and do the things you love until you die. That’s because not knowing creates a lot of uncertainity in situations, which paralyzes you.
You have something he/she wants, and he/she has something you want (sex, companionship, etc.) As a result, the both of you benefit each other.
Over time, as the two of you trade more and more, you realize that it’ll be more efficient if you just stayed together. When you don’t really know yourself and don’t have much to offer in your relationship, that’s when you become “desparate”.
That is the key to a healthy relationship actually, since even in a relationship, you’ll be alone some portion of the time.
A relationship is just an extension of the economic model.
This is when people sit at home crying, blaming the other person for not fulfilling their dreams. Now say there were 2 people in the world, what would you do?
Now you’re left with what you started with, but with more experience.Whenever you are focusing on yourself and don’t notice other people, it’s the same as if you were alone.Knowing what you’d do in this situation really helps you out in figuring out what you want.For example, let’s say you just had a date and you sit around wondering when the other person would call.Days pass and no call; you become worried, not knowing where you’re at.It would also explain why you would feel very hurt and angry when your partner leaves, since he/she took away all that stuff you were getting.On the other hand, if you had a strong identity outside of the relationship, then you would simply return to the happy state you were in before you made the trades.It’s also when the other person feel this exceeding neediness from you, which leads the the suspicion that you have much less to offer than what you’ll be getting.If that is the case, then of course the relationship would feel like the center of the world to you, as you are deriving most of your identity from your partner.This is where an intuitive mind trying to analyze tons of possibilities becomes extremely harmful. The other thing that happens when you think about your future together too much is that you are analyzing too deeply down one branch of the possibility tree.Other parts of your life start to shrink because all your thoughts are focused on how good it would be together.