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Because of this, she recommends that young adults err on the side of financial caution when making life decisions, because family funds aren’t guaranteed to be there years down the road.Following the divorce, some adult children also find themselves questioning their own relationships or shunning commitment.Based on her experience treating patients, Terry Gaspard, a licensed clinical social worker serving Rhode Island and Massachusetts, says that the first two years after the divorce are usually the most challenging for adult children, and that women—because they typically have better emotional memory—tend to take longer to get over that trauma than men.To make matters worse, friends and spouses are oftentimes less than supportive during the recovery and adjustment period.Instead of sharing and seeking help, they keep those thoughts inside, causing the problem to fester.In the meantime, school or work performance might suffer and they could develop depression, all the while telling themselves they’re overreacting and that there’s no need to reach out for professional help.Common reactions include comments such as, “At least you had a family for as long as you did,” or, “You don’t live at home anymore so it doesn’t affect you.” Some adult children report unsympathetic therapists, and even parents can be shocked by their kids’ strong reaction.Lacking emotional support, adult children often conclude that there is something wrong with them for feeling as intensely as they do.

D., a sociologist at Bowling Green State University and lead author of the study.They might cultivate a cynicism about love and assume that every relationship has an unavoidable expiration date.Gaspard encourages her patients to steer clear of this negative outlook and instead try to use the divorce as a learning experience, analyzing what went wrong between their parents and applying that knowledge to their own relationships to avoid the same pitfalls.Adult children also feel the economic strain of grey divorces.Legal fees can run a gamut, from about ,000 per side to hundreds of thousands of dollars.Experts refer to this relatively new phenomenon as grey divorce—separations that occur between those 50 years or older.Sociologists are just beginning to catch on to this trend, sparked by a 2012 study that found that the number of grey divorces has doubled since 1990.“A lot of parents who are in my office seeking a later-in-life divorce haven’t really done a lot of thinking about how it’s going to impact their kids,” says Janice Green, a family law attorney based in Austin and author of “Divorce After 50.” “But adult kids have longer-established family rituals and home memories than the younger ones, so in some sense the divorce can cause more of an impact.” This includes the intangible impacts of no longer sharing family holidays, for example, or of having to meet mom or dad’s new significant other.Moreover, when life events like graduations or weddings come up, focus can shift away from celebrating those landmarks and instead to the awkward logistics of keeping warring parents apart.A growing number of books about grey divorce provide solid advice, too, and some people find that blogging or keeping a journal is useful for working through their feelings.While life will never be the same, Gaspard says, the good news is that it does get better.

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