Dating a druggie
As Carver observes, “The Loser feels your friends and family might influence you or offer negative opinions about their behavior…Eventually, rather than face the verbal punishment, interrogation, and abuse, you’ll develop the feeling that it’s better not to talk to family and friends.They may do so through overt criticism and by following them around when they meet with others, as Drew did to Stacy.Sometimes they opt for more subtle manipulation, such as by covertly turning the victim against her own family and friends (and vice versa).
Yet, Carver cautions, this seemingly positive sign is, in fact, also negative.Such outbursts also train the partners to become gradually habituated to acts of violence. They also engage in long-term relationships, however, to gain more lasting control over certain more promising targets.It’s nearly impossible to control strong human beings who have clear boundaries and a healthy self-esteem.The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause the Loser to detach from you as quickly as they committed.” Which is exactly what Drew Peterson (and others like him) did after seducing each of his partners. The physical outbursts towards inanimate objects function as a form of intimidation.As easily as he attached to them initially, he later detached from them to pursue his next conquest(s). Through such behavior, Losers show their targets that they’re capable of doing the same thing to them. Losers generally prefer flings and short-term affairs, which provide constant new thrills.The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of ‘The Loser’ and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically.” () 1. “If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property even once, drop them,” Carver advises.As we’ve seen, Drew Peterson escalated the abuse of his partners.Similarly, Carver notes that the Loser doesn’t have to exhibit all of the symptoms listed below to be dangerous.The presence of even three of these symptoms indicates a potentially harmful relationship.The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative.But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.