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Forgive me for saying this, but I have a hard time stomaching this trend.Just because you were raised in a family of women, or that you’ve slept with so many of us that you could start a national sorority comprised of your sexual conquests, doesn’t make you qualified to tell me how to increase my chances of getting married.Personally, you'd get more points from me for if you can quote James Baldwin or if you're knowledgeable about or genuinely interested in learning about my culture beyond popular trends and stereotypes. Johnson wrote for Everyday Feminism: part of Black culture, that has to include learning about the history of what you’re appreciating and about the struggles and achievements of the people you’re borrowing from.Then you’ll be the kind of ally who’s informed enough to honor our culture in a way that supports us — instead of just taking what you like and hurting our community.There must be something comforting in the belief that the decline in marriage can be remedied by taking pragmatic and logical approach towards relationships for these two highly educated and socially privileged Black people.
It seems that Black women have bought into this sensationalistic message, paving the way for a small army of (allegedly) well-intentioned Black men peddling relationship advice to Black women to become wildly successful (and wealthy) all for teaching us how to think more like them while acting like us.
“Black men being in short supply means they can dictate the terms of the relationship and they often dictate terms that are not to the woman’s liking.” Let me get this right: one of the reasons why successful Black women should pursue relationships with successful White men is because a successful White man is more likely to create a relationship of “equals” with a Black woman than a Black man because successful White men want nothing more than to be in a relationship with a woman who is his equal?
*crickets* I’ve heard more than a few of my professional sisters come straight out and say some variation of this statement while declaing "forget about Black men and their non-appreciating behinds." They’re looking to become the next Mrs. I’m a Black woman who has dated White, Hispanic and Black men.
And let’s not forget that the statistics say that Black men aren’t buying into marriage either. That’s like Johnnie Cochran giving the State of California inside information to gain OJ Simpson’s conviction.
As commitmentphobic as Black men supposedly are, I think there’s a valid reason to say that this advice dispensing could be viewed as a serious conflict of interest.