Who is john daly dating
And so, the single person who is not there yet and wants that, I always go to the Psalms. And so, to be willing to do that, be willing to own it. Jim: It really does, but there is that need to, you know, kind of guard your heart from getting bitter toward God. You've gotta kind of deal with what environment the Lord puts you in. Jim: And I think also to understand that God feels confident that you can manage it and to take some solace in that, that the Lord knows your ability. Jim: And so, if you're in that place of singleness right now, God knows you're there and to stay true and stay strong and keep moving forward. I mean, if I truly believe that God is both sovereign and He's good, then who better person to put myself in His hands.
I tell people, you know, there's a reason why God said, "Pour out your complaint," you know. The person to not pour out your complaint to is the guy that you want to be dating, but hasn't asked you out. Be willing to admit your desire for marriage in a very honest way, 'cause again, it is a good thing. I think we need to take away the shame of wanting marriage. But then there are also other things to do, as well and to look at where you are right now and to recognize, to count … I reference sometimes a blog post that I wrote for Boundless where it was right around Thanksgiving and I wrote a post called "Thanks for Nothing." And of course, we know the phrase just means like, you know, "Well, thanks for nothing," like we weren't given what we wanted. You know, I mean, it's like, it's silly for me to think that I can be on a hamster wheel over here, thinking I'm gonna affect things in my life or change things and then completely discount God. again, from the get-go, have very real things that you know are non-negotiables in a relationship.
This is why we see so many singles running into bad relationships or staying in bad, go-nowhere relationship or you know, settling in many different ways that are not appropriate. I call it "getting tight with Jesus" and this is beyond, "Hi, I retweet Francis Chan three times a day." Or I go to my singles' group. This is knowing and being in an active relationships with Jesus Christ. Are you in a position of leadership, wherever that is? Lisa: Oh, absolutely and I mean, it's very much, you know, I think we're all out there. You know, I tell people and there's a section I talk about in the book, about putting yourself out there. if one more person asks me, "Are you sure you're putting yourself out there? 'cause I'm like, "I host an international show for single people, okay?
One other great example is like I said, to be in a position to marry and to be a grownup. Are you leading in areas, whether it's actively leading, being up in front of people or whether it's leading in areas of character and integrity? For those who are wanting to be married and those who are wanting to date, it's kind of assessing what your situation is. I mean, if I'm not out there, I don't know where I'm gonna be."And so, but it can be frustrating and this is why when I speak on college campuses, for example, I say to them straight up, "You will never be in a situation where you are with as many like-minded, headed in the same direction, got their act together, same-age, same-stage people as you are right now.
What were you driving at with "Preventing Dating Death? Lisa: And this idea that I didn't really know what I was in for, but at least I was harnessed in. I was with a friend and I was kinda like, okay, are we gonna do this?
"Lisa: Yeah and I actually open up with the illustration of going to an amusement park and doing one of these sky coaster, where you're harnessed in and you get hoisted up on the … And it's like a simulated free fall (Laughter) or a simulated—Jim: Right. And fortunately, she was the one that pulled the rip cord, 'cause I was mildly hyperventilating.
"I mean, I'm 35 and I haven't found my man yet and I'm beginning to panic." The humor part of it is especially with the people you encounter, I think you told me one story about a 75-year-old man who thought he was still in top physical shape, in fact, sent you his waist size—Lisa: Uh-hm. (Laughter) I am still single, you know, so it's not … And then just that you will support them along the way. You've got all of the services out there, whether it's Christian Cafe, e Harmony, whatever the name of the group, but millions of people go looking in that space. Some Christians would say, it's not a good thing to do.
it's not something again, that I can say, "I have control over this. Lisa: I so feel for parents and even adults in the church who are wanting to speak into the lives of young adults, because there is this fear that they're gonna say the wrong things. Encourage a, you know, if your young adult has a coach in their life or someone who they really respect, allow relationship to flourish and to let that person, you know, speak in. you know, to communicate that you're rooting for them, that if they have indicated the desire to be married, that you think they're worth marrying. Others would say, no; it's just a place to find community. Lisa: Yeah, I try to kind of confront the anti-online daters in the sense of saying, most of 'em are very presumptive about saying, okay, well, online dating isn't a good thing because basically what it means is, you're not trusting God.
Jim: Now Lisa, some of this comes with a dose of humor. I mean, you have a great sense of humor and I would think some singles that maybe that burden has been heavy, it's hard to be funny about something so serious. And you know, for myself, I even say, in the book I say, it's weird to be considered a person who's an expert on a subject where my own advice has not yet worked for me. Jim: Let me ask about online dating, because that's a big issue in the culture.So, I would love to see pastors and others find a way to really incorporate and envelop singles within the body of the church, within ministry, within … You can start to develop quite a bit of bitterness there.I mean, we should see single young adults in, you know, teaching Sunday school. We should see them not just doing "singles' ministry."Jim: Yeah. Jim: Let's talk a minute about the grief that some singles will feel, like God has abandoned them. The Scripture says that God will meet the desires of your heart. How does a single person who hasn't been given that gift of marriage yet, how do they keep in a good place with their relationship with God?So, it's really looking at it holistically and saying, "What's the purpose of dating? The first one is, especially for the Christian single adult, is to know who you are in Jesus Christ and have that be your rock-solid foundation. Are you, you know, living in a way that's responsible?So much of the craziness that we deal with in relating to other people and going through relational drama has to do with not understanding that the only relationship we'll ever have that will not fail us is with Jesus Christ. Are you taking responsibility for yourself and for other people? that you gotta take with a bit of a dose of humor, don't you?You're living it, which I think makes it even more powerful. or trying to play off the, you know, "How's your love life? But to really say, "I want to stand with you in prayer on this." Or where … to turn it around to your young adult and say, "Where's your heart in this? Shouldn't we just sit in our apartments and say, 'God'll bring me a job?John: Lisa, along the way, your mom had to speak into your life. ' No, we go out and we interview and we fill our resumes and we network and stuff.Lisa: And then to the married people in the church, I say, adopt a single person or five in your church. That's the traditional Thanksgiving (Chuckling) environment. Lisa: Yeah, I have walked through that season and I still enter it occasionally.You know, they may not have a place to go on Christmas or Easter or just after church on Sunday. You know, I tell people, I wrote this book as a single person. I am not looking back on this season with all kinds of awesome advice for people of how I conquered my singleness or how I finally, you know, 12 steps to making it to marriage. And I think it's one of those things where, when we look at the grief, the first thing we have to do is name it and be okay with it.Teaser: Lisa Anderson: One of the guys I dated, on our second date had a Power Point presentation (Laughter) for me of how our relationship was gonna go, complete with, I mean, it was like pivot tables (Laughter) and like algorithms and stuff, no joke. Jim Daly: John, I think the conversation last time was really helpful to a lot of singles. It doesn't get any bolder than that, so what prompted you to name it that?And he presented it to me and I was like, "That is a bit much."End of Teaser John Fuller: That's Lisa Anderson, reflecting on a date that didn't turn out so well for her and she was with us last time on "Focus on the Family." She's back today with more insights about being a single and pursuing marriage with purpose. I hope so and maybe the parents of singles to say, okay, now I kinda get a better idea what's going on. Jim: But we want to continue that discussion today and I think if you're in that spot and you're single and you don't know, "Why, God, I'm still here," I think you'll hear some things today that are gonna help. Lisa: Well, I think I wanted it to be kind of my statement.